FOOL
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Let me hire him too, here's my Coxcombe.Let me hire him too. Here's my coxcomb.KL I.iv.95
Sirrah, you were best take my Coxcombe.Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.KL I.iv.97
Why? for taking ones part that's out of fauour,Why? For taking one's part that's out of favour.KL I.iv.99
nay, & thou canst not smile as the wind sits, thou'ltNay, and thou canst not smile as the wind sits, thou'ltKL I.iv.100
catch colde shortly, there take my Coxcombe; why thiscatch cold shortly. There, take my coxcomb! Why, thisKL I.iv.101
fellow ha's banish'd two on's Daughters, and did thefellow has banished two on's daughters, and did theKL I.iv.102
third a blessing against his will, if thou follow him, thouthird a blessing against his will. If thou follow him, thouKL I.iv.103
must needs weare my Coxcombe. How now Nunckle?must needs wear my coxcomb. How now, nuncle!KL I.iv.104
would I had two Coxcombes and two Daughters.Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!KL I.iv.105
If I gaue them all my liuing,I'ld keepe my CoxcombesIf I gave them all my living, I'd keep my coxcombsKL I.iv.107
my selfe, there's mine, beg another of thy Daughters.myself. There's mine. Beg another of thy daughters.KL I.iv.108
Truth's a dog must to kennell, hee must bee whiptTruth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whippedKL I.iv.110
out, when the Lady Brach may stand by'th'fire and out when the Lady Brach may stand by the fire andKL I.iv.111
stinke.stink.KL I.iv.112
Sirha, Ile teach thee a speech.Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech.KL I.iv.114
Marke it Nuncle;Mark it, nuncle:KL I.iv.116
Haue more then thou showest,Have more than thou showest,KL I.iv.117
Speake lesse then thou knowest,Speak less than thou knowest,KL I.iv.118
Lend lesse then thou owest,Lend less than thou owest,KL I.iv.119
Ride more then thou goest,Ride more than thou goest,KL I.iv.120
Learne more then thou trowest,Learn more than thou trowest,KL I.iv.121
Set lesse then thou throwest;Set less than thou throwest;KL I.iv.122
Leaue thy drinke and thy whore,Leave thy drink and thy whoreKL I.iv.123
And keepe in a dore,And keep in-a-door,KL I.iv.124
And thou shalt haue more,And thou shalt have moreKL I.iv.125
Then two tens to a score.Than two tens to a score.KL I.iv.126
Then 'tis like the breath of an vnfeed Lawyer, youThen 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer: youKL I.iv.128
gaue me nothing for't, can you make no vse of nothinggave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of nothing,KL I.iv.129
Nuncle?nuncle?KL I.iv.130
Prythee tell him, so much the rent of hisPrithee tell him; so much the rent of hisKL I.iv.132
land comes to, he will not beleeue a Foole.his land comes to. He will not believe a fool.KL I.iv.133
Do'st thou know the difference my Boy, betweene aDost thou know the difference, my boy, between aKL I.iv.135
bitter Foole, and a sweet one.bitter fool and a sweet fool?KL I.iv.136
That lord that counselled theeKL I.iv.138
To give away thy land,KL I.iv.139
Come place him here by me;KL I.iv.140
Do thou for him stand.KL I.iv.141
The sweet and bitter foolKL I.iv.142
Will presently appear:KL I.iv.143
The one in motley here,KL I.iv.144
The other found out – there.KL I.iv.145
All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thouKL I.iv.147
wast born with.KL I.iv.148
No, faith; lords and great men will not let me. If IKL I.iv.150
had a monopoly out they would have part on't; andKL I.iv.151
Foole. ladies too – they will not let me have all the fool to myself;KL I.iv.152
Nunckle, giue me an egge, andthey'll be snatching. Nuncle, give me an egg andKL I.iv.153
Ile giue thee two Crownes.I'll give thee two crowns.KL I.iv.154
Why after I haue cut the egge i'th'middle and eateWhy, after I have cut the egg i'the middle and eatKL I.iv.156
vp the meate, the two Crownes of the egge: when thouup the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thouKL I.iv.157
clouest thy Crownes i'th'middle, and gau'st away bothclovest thy crown i'the middle, and gavest away bothKL I.iv.158
parts, thou boar'st thine Asse on thy backe o're the durt,parts, thou borest thine ass on thy back o'er the dirtKL I.iv.159
thou had'st little wit in thy bald crowne, when thouThou hadst little wit in thy bald crown when thouKL I.iv.160
gau'st thy golden one away; if I speake like my selfe ingavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself inKL I.iv.161
this, let him be whipt that first findes it so.this, let him be whipped that first finds it so.KL I.iv.162
Fooles had nere lesse grace in a yeere,Fools had ne'er less grace in a year,KL I.iv.163
For wisemen are growne foppish,For wise men are grown foppishKL I.iv.164
And know not how their wits to weare,And know not how their wits to wear,KL I.iv.165
Their manners are so apish.Their manners are so apish.KL I.iv.166
I haue vsed it Nunckle, ere since thou mad'st thyI have used it, nuncle, e'er since thou madest thyKL I.iv.168
Daughters thy Mothers, for when thou gau'st them thedaughters thy mothers; for when thou gavest them theKL I.iv.169
rod, and put'st downe thine owne breeches,rod and puttest down thine own breeches,KL I.iv.170
then they / For sodaine ioy did weepe,Then they for sudden joy did weep,KL I.iv.171
And I for sorrow sung,And I for sorrow sung,KL I.iv.172
That such a King should play bo-peepe,That such a king should play bo-peepKL I.iv.173
And goe the Foole among.And go the fools among.KL I.iv.174
Pry'thy Nunckle keepe a Schoolemaster that can teach thyPrithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thyKL I.iv.175
Foole to lie, I would faine learne to lie.fool to lie; I would fain learn to lie.KL I.iv.176
I maruell what kin thou and thy daughters are,I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are.KL I.iv.178
they'l haue me whipt for speaking true: thou'ltThey'll have me whipped for speaking true; thou'ltKL I.iv.179
haue me whipt for lying, and sometimes I amhave me whipped for lying; and sometimes I amKL I.iv.180
whipt for holding my peace. I had rather be any kindwhipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kindKL I.iv.181
o'thing then a foole, and yet I would not be thee Nunckle,o' thing than a fool. And yet I would not be thee, nuncle.KL I.iv.182
thou hast pared thy wit o'both sides, and left nothingThou hast pared thy wit o' both sides and left nothingKL I.iv.183
i'th'middle; heere comes one o'the parings.i'the middle. Here comes one o'the parings.KL I.iv.184
Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no needThou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no needKL I.iv.187
to care for her frowning, now thou art an O without a to care for her frowning. Now thou art an 0 without aKL I.iv.188
figure, I am better then thou art now, I am a Foole, thoufigure. I am better than thou art now; I am a fool; thouKL I.iv.189
art nothing. Yes forsooth I will hold myart nothing. (To Gonerill) Yes, forsooth, I will hold myKL I.iv.190
tongue, so your face bids me, though you say nothing.tongue. So your face bids me, though you say nothing.KL I.iv.191
Mum, mum,Mum, mum!KL I.iv.192
he that keepes nor crust, not crum,He that keeps nor crust nor crumb,KL I.iv.193
Weary of all, shall want some.Weary of all, shall want some.KL I.iv.194
That's a sheal'd Pescod.That's a shelled peascod.KL I.iv.195
For you know Nunckle,For you know, nuncle,KL I.iv.210
the Hedge-Sparrow fed the Cuckoo so long,The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so longKL I.iv.211
that it's had it head bit off by it young,That it's had it head bit off by it young.KL I.iv.212
so out went the Candle,and we were left darkling.So out went the candle and we were left darkling.KL I.iv.213
May not an Asse know, when the Cart drawes theMay not an ass know when the cart draws theKL I.iv.219
Horse?horse?KL I.iv.220
Whoop Iugge I loue thee.Whoop, Jug, I love thee!KL I.iv.221
Lears shadow.Lear's shadow.KL I.iv.2227
Which they will make an obedient father.KL I.iv.231
Nunkle Lear, Nunkle Lear, / Tarry, take the FooleNuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry! Take the FoolKL I.iv.312
with thee:with thee.KL I.iv.313
A Fox, when one has caught her,A fox, when one has caught her,KL I.iv.314
And such a Daughter,And such a daughterKL I.iv.315
Should sure to the Slaughter,Should sure to the slaughter,KL I.iv.316
If my Cap would buy a Halter,If my cap would buy a halter – KL I.iv.317
So the Foole followes after. So the fool follows after.KL I.iv.318
If a mans braines were in's heeles, wert not inIf a man's brains were in's heels, were't not inKL I.v.8
danger of kybes?danger of kibes?KL I.v.9
Then I prythee be merry, thy wit shall not goThen I prithee be merry. Thy wit shall not goKL I.v.11
slip-shod.slipshod.KL I.v.12
Shalt see thy other Daughter will vse thee kindly,Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly;KL I.v.14
for though she's as like this, as a Crabbe's like an Apple, yetfor though she's as like this as a crab's like an apple, yetKL I.v.15
I can tell what I can tell.I can tell what I can tell.KL I.v.16
She will taste as like this as, a Crabbe do's to a Crab:She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab.KL I.v.18
thou canst tell why ones nose stands i'th'middle on'sThou canst tell why one's nose stands i'the middle on'sKL I.v.19
face?face?KL I.v.20
Why to keepe ones eyes of either side's nose, thatWhy, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose; thatKL I.v.22
what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.what a man cannot smell out he may spy into.KL I.v.23
Can'st tell how an Oyster makes his shell?Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?KL I.v.25
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a Snaile ha's a house.Nor I neither. But I can tell why a snail has a house.KL I.v.27
Why to put's head in, not to giue it away to hisWhy, to put's head in; not to give it away to hisKL I.v.29
daughters, and leaue his hornes without a case.daughters, and leave his horns without a case.KL I.v.30
Thy Asses are gone about 'em; the reason why the Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why theKL I.v.33
seuen Starres are no mo then seuen, is a pretty reason.seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.KL I.v.34
Yes indeed, thou would'st make a good Foole.Yes, indeed. Thou wouldst make a good fool.KL I.v.36
If thou wert my Foole Nunckle, Il'd haue thee beatenIf thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'd have thee beatenKL I.v.38
for being old before thy time.for being old before thy time.KL I.v.39
Thou shouldst not haue bin old, till thou hadstThou shouldst not have been old till thou hadstKL I.v.41
bin wise.been wise.KL I.v.42
She that's a Maid now,& laughs at my departure,She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure,KL I.v.48
Shall not be a Maid long, vnlesse things be cut shorter.Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.KL I.v.49
Hah, ha, he weares Cruell Garters Horses are tide byHa, ha! He wears cruel garters. Horses are tied byKL II.iv.7
the heads, Dogges and Beares by'th'necke, Monkies by'th'the heads, dogs and bears by the neck, monkeys by theKL II.iv.8
loynes, and Men by'th'legs: when a man ouerlustie atloins, and men by the legs. When a man's over-lusty atKL II.iv.9
legs, then he weares wodden nether-stocks.legs, then he wears wooden nether-stocks.KL II.iv.10
Winters not gon yet, if the wil'd Geese fly that way,Winter's not gone yet if the wild geese fly that way.KL II.iv.45
Fathers that weare rags,Fathers that wear ragsKL II.iv.46
do make their Children blind,Do make their children blind,KL II.iv.47
But Fathers that beare bags,But fathers that bear bagsKL II.iv.48
shall see their children kind.Shall see their children kind.KL II.iv.49
Fortune that arrant whore,Fortune, that arrant whore,KL II.iv.50
nere turns the key to th'poore.Ne'er turns the key to the poor.KL II.iv.51
But for all this thou shalt haue as many Dolors for thyBut for all this thou shalt have as many dolours for thyKL II.iv.52
Daughters, as thou canst tell in a yeare.daughters as thou canst tell in a year.KL II.iv.53
And thou hadst beene set i'th'Stockes for that question,And thou hadst been set i'the stocks for that question,KL II.iv.62
thoud'st well deseru'd it.thou'dst well deserved it.KL II.iv.63
Wee'l set thee to schoole to an Ant, to teach theeWe'll set thee to school to an ant to teach theeKL II.iv.65
ther's no labouring i'th'winter. All that follow theirthere's no labouring i'the winter. All that follow theirKL II.iv.66
noses, are led by their eyes, but blinde men, and there'snoses are led by their eyes, but blind men; and there'sKL II.iv.67
not a nose among twenty, but can smell him that's not a nose among twenty but can smell him that'sKL II.iv.68
stinking; let go thy hold, when a great wheele runs downestinking. Let go thy hold when a great wheel runs downKL II.iv.69
a hill, least it breake thy necke with following. But the greata hill, lest it break thy neck with following. But the greatKL II.iv.70
one that goes vpward, let him draw thee after: when aone that goes upward, let him draw thee after. When aKL II.iv.71
wiseman giues thee better counsell giue me mine againe,wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again;KL II.iv.72
I would hause none but knaues follow it, since a Foole giues it.I would ha' none but knaves use it, since a fool gives it.KL II.iv.73
That Sir, which serues and seekes for gaine,That sir which serves and seeks for gain,KL II.iv.74
And followes but for forme;And follows but for form,KL II.iv.75
Will packe, when it begins to raine,Will pack when it begins to rain,KL II.iv.76
And leaue thee in the storme,And leave thee in the storm;KL II.iv.77
But I will tarry, the Foole will stay,But I will tarry, the fool will stay,KL II.iv.78
And let the wiseman flie:And let the wise man fly.KL II.iv.79
The knaue turnes Foole that runnes away,The knave turns fool that runs away;KL II.iv.80
The Foole no knaue perdie.• Enter Lear, and Gloster:The fool no knave, perdy.KL II.iv.81
Not i'th'Stocks Foole.Not i'the stocks, fool.KL II.iv.83
Cry to it Nunckle, as the Cockney did to the Eeles,Cry to it, nuncle, as the cockney did to the eelsKL II.iv.117
when she put 'em i'th'Paste aliue, she knapt 'emwhen she put 'em i'the paste alive. She knapped 'emKL II.iv.118
o'th'coxcombs with a sticke, and cryed downe wantons,o'the coxcombs with a stick and cried ‘ Down, wantons,KL II.iv.119
downe; 'twas her Brother, that in pure kindnesse to hisdown!’ 'Twas her brother that in pure kindness to hisKL II.iv.120
Horse buttered his Hay.horse buttered his hay.KL II.iv.121
O Nunkle, Court holy-water in a dry house, is betterO nuncle, court holy-water in a dry house is betterKL III.ii.10
then this Rain-water out o' doore. Good Nunkle, in, aske thythan this rain-water out o'door. Good nuncle, in; ask thyKL III.ii.11
Daughters blessing, heere's a night pitties neither Wisemen,daughters' blessing. Here's a night pities neither wiseKL III.ii.12
nor Fooles.men nor fools.KL III.ii.13
He that has a house to put's head in, has a goodHe that has a house to put's head in has a goodKL III.ii.25
Head-peece:headpiece.KL III.ii.26
The Codpiece that will house,The cod-piece that will houseKL III.ii.27
before the head has any;Before the head has any,KL III.ii.28
The Head, and he shall Lowse: The head and he shall louse;KL III.ii.29
so Beggers marry many.So beggars marry many.KL III.ii.30
The man yt makes his Toe,The man that makes his toeKL III.ii.31
what he his Hart shold make,What he his heart should make,KL III.ii.32
Shall of a Corne cry woe,Shall of a corn cry woe,KL III.ii.33
and turne his sleepe to wake.And turn his sleep to wake.KL III.ii.34
For there was neuer yet faire woman, but shee made mouthesFor there was never yet fair woman but she made mouthsKL III.ii.35
in a glasse.in a glass.KL III.ii.36
Marry here's Grace, and a Codpiece, that's a Wiseman,Marry, here's grace and a cod-piece – that's a wiseKL III.ii.40
and a Foole.man and a fool.KL III.ii.41
He that has and a little-tyne wit,He that has and a little tiny wit,KL III.ii.74
With heigh-ho, the Winde and the Raine,With heigh-ho, the wind and the rain,KL III.ii.75
Must make content with his Fortunes fit,Must make content with his fortunes fit,KL III.ii.76
Though the Raine it raineth euery day.Though the rain it raineth every day.KL III.ii.77
This is a braue night to coole a Curtizan: Ile speakeThis is a brave night to cool a courtesan. I'll speakKL III.ii.79
a Prophesie ere I go:a prophecy ere I go:KL III.ii.80
When Priests are more in word, then matter;When priests are more in word than matter,KL III.ii.81
When Brewers marre their Malt with water;When brewers mar their malt with water,KL III.ii.82
When Nobles are their Taylors Tutors,When nobles are their tailors' tutors,KL III.ii.83
No Heretiques burn'd, but wenches Sutors;No heretics burned but wenches' suitors – KL III.ii.84
Then shal the Realme of Albion,Then shall the realm of AlbionKL III.ii.85
come to great confusion:Come to great confusion.KL III.ii.86
When euery Case in Law, is right;When every case in law is right,KL III.ii.87
No Squire in debt, nor no poore Knight;No squire in debt nor no poor knight,KL III.ii.88
When Slanders do not liue in Tongues;When slanders do not live in tongues,KL III.ii.89
Nor Cut-purses come not to throngs;Nor cutpurses come not to throngs,KL III.ii.90
When Vsurers tell their Gold i'th'Field,When usurers tell their gold i'the field,KL III.ii.91
And Baudes, and whores, do Churches build,And bawds and whores do churches build – KL III.ii.92
Then comes the time, who liues to see't,Then comes the time, who lives to see't,KL III.ii.93
That going shalbe vs'd with feet.That going shall be used with feet.KL III.ii.94
This prophecie Merlin shall make, for I liue before hisThis prophecy Merlin shall make; for I live before hisKL III.ii.95
time.time.KL III.ii.96
Come not in heere Nuncle, here's a spirit, helpe me,Come not in here, nuncle; here's a spirit. Help me,KL III.iv.38
helpe me.help me!KL III.iv.39
A spirite, a spirite, he sayes his name's poore Tom.A spirit, a spirit! He says his name's Poor Tom.KL III.iv.41
Nay, he reseru'd a Blanket, else we had bin allNay, he reserved a blanket; else we had been allKL III.iv.62
sham'd.shamed.KL III.iv.63
This cold night will turne vs all to Fooles, andThis cold night will turn us all to fools andKL III.iv.75
Madmen.madmen.KL III.iv.76
Prythee Nunckle be contented, 'tis a naughtie nightPrithee, nuncle, be contented; 'tis a naughty nightKL III.iv.106
to swimme in. Now a little fire in a wilde Field, were like anto swim in. Now a little fire in a wild field were like anKL III.iv.107
old Letchers heart, a small spark, all the rest on's body,old lecher's heart – a small spark, all the rest on's bodyKL III.iv.108
cold: Looke, heere comes a walking fire.cold. Look, here comes a walking fire.KL III.iv.109
Prythee Nunkle tell me, whether a madman be aPrithee, nuncle, tell me whether a madman be aKL III.vi.9
Gentleman, or a Yeoman.gentleman or a yeoman.KL III.vi.10
No, he's a Yeoman, that ha's a Gentleman to his Sonne:No! He's a yeoman that has a gentleman to his son;KL III.vi.12
for hee's a mad Yeoman that sees his Sonne a Gentlemanfor he's a mad yeoman that sees his son a gentlemanKL III.vi.13
before him.before him.KL III.vi.14
He's mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, aKL III.vi.18
horse's health, a boy's love, or a whore's oath.KL III.vi.19
Her boat hath a leakKL III.vi.26
And she must not speakKL III.vi.27
Why she dares not come over to thee.KL III.vi.28
Come hither, mistress. Is your name Gonerill?KL III.vi.49
Cry you mercy, I took you for a joint-stool.KL III.vi.51
And Ile go to bed at noone.And I'll go to bed at noon.KL III.vi.83
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