LAUNCE
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Nay, 'twill bee this howre ere I haue done weeping: Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;TG II.iii.1
all the kinde of the Launces, haue this very fault: I haue all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I haveTG II.iii.2
receiu'd my proportion, like the prodigious Sonne, and am received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and amTG II.iii.3
going with Sir Protheus to the Imperialls Court: I thinke going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I thinkTG II.iii.4
Crab my dog, be the sowrest natured dogge that liues: My Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives. My TG II.iii.5
Mother weeping: my Father wayling: my Sister crying: mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying,TG II.iii.6
our Maid howling: our Catte wringing her hands, and all our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and allTG II.iii.7
our house in a great perplexitie, yet did not this cruell-hearted our house in a great perplexity; yet did not this cruel-heartedTG II.iii.8
Curre shedde one teare: he is a stone, a very pibble stone, cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble-stone,TG II.iii.9
and has no more pitty in him then a dogge: a Iew and has no more pity in him than a dog. A JewTG II.iii.10
would haue wept to haue seene our parting: why my would have wept to have seen our parting. Why, myTG II.iii.11
Grandam hauing no eyes, looke you, wept her selfe blinde grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blindTG II.iii.12
at my parting: nay, Ile shew you the manner of it. at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it.TG II.iii.13
This shooe is my father: no, this left shooe is my father; This shoe is my father. No, this left shoe is my father.TG II.iii.14
no, no, this left shooe is my mother: nay, that cannot bee No, no, this left shoe is my mother. Nay, that cannot beTG II.iii.15
so neyther: yes; it is so, it is so: it hath the worser sole: so neither. Yes, it is so, it is so; it hath the worser sole.TG II.iii.16
this shooe with the hole in it, is my mother: and this my This shoe with the hole in it is my mother, and this myTG II.iii.17
father: a veng'ance on't, there 'tis: Now sir, this staffe father. A vengeance on't, there 'tis. Now, sir, this staffTG II.iii.18
is my sister: for, looke you, she is as white as a lilly, and is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, andTG II.iii.19
as small as a wand: this hat is Nan our maid: I am the as small as a wand. This hat is Nan our maid. I am theTG II.iii.20
dogge: no, the dogge is himselfe, and I am the dogge: oh, the dog. No, the dog is himself, and I am the dog. O, theTG II.iii.21
dogge is me, and I am my selfe: I; so, so: now come I to dog is me, and I am myself. Ay, so, so. Now come I toTG II.iii.22
my Father; Father, your blessing: now should not the my father: ‘ Father, your blessing.’ Now should not theTG II.iii.23
shooe speake a word for weeping: now should I kisse my shoe speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss myTG II.iii.24
Father; well, hee weepes on: Now come I to my Mother: father; well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother.TG II.iii.25
Oh that she could speake now, like a would-woman: well, O, that she could speak now like an old woman! Well,TG II.iii.26
I kisse her: why there 'tis; heere's my mothers breath vp I kiss her. Why, there 'tis; here's my mother's breath upTG II.iii.27
and downe: Now come I to my sister; marke the moane she and down. Now come I to my sister. Mark the moan sheTG II.iii.28
makes: now the dogge all this while sheds not a teare: nor makes. Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, norTG II.iii.29
speakes a word: but see how I lay the dust with my teares. speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.TG II.iii.30
It is no matter if the tide were lost, for it is the It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is theTG II.iii.35
vnkindest Tide, that euer any man tide. unkindest tied that ever any man tied.TG II.iii.36
Why, he that's tide here, Crab my dog. Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.TG II.iii.38
For feare thou shouldst loose thy tongue. For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.TG II.iii.44
In thy Tale. In thy tale.TG II.iii.46
Loose the Tide, and the voyage, and the Master, Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master,TG II.iii.48
and the Seruice, and the tide: why man, if the Riuer and the service, and the tied. Why, man, if the riverTG II.iii.49
were drie, I am able to fill it with my teares: if the winde were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears. If the windTG II.iii.50
were downe, I could driue the boate with my sighes. were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.TG II.iii.51
Sir: call me what thou dar'st. Sir, call me what thou darest.TG II.iii.54
Well, I will goe. Well, I will go.TG II.iii.56
Forsweare not thy selfe, sweet youth, for I am notForswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am notTG II.v.2
welcome. I reckon this alwaies, that a man is neuer vndonwelcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undoneTG II.v.3
till hee be hang'd, nor neuer welcome to a place, tilltill he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place tillTG II.v.4
some certaine shot be paid, and the Hostesse saysome certain shot be paid, and the hostess say,TG II.v.5
welcome.‘ Welcome.’TG II.v.6
Marry after they cloas'd in earnest, they partedMarry, after they closed in earnest, they partedTG II.v.11
very fairely in iest.very fairly in jest.TG II.v.12
No.No.TG II.v.14
No, neither.No, neither.TG II.v.16
No; they are both as whole as a fish.No, they are both as whole as a fish.TG II.v.18
Marry thus, when it stands well with him, itMarry, thus: when it stands well with him, itTG II.v.20
stands well with her.stands well with her.TG II.v.21
What a blocke art thou, that thou canst not? MyWhat a block art thou, that thou canst not! MyTG II.v.23
staffe vnderstands me?staff understands me.TG II.v.24
I, and what I do too: looke thee, Ile but leane,Ay, and what I do too; look there, I'll but lean,TG II.v.26
and my staffe vnderstands me.and my staff understands me.TG II.v.27
Why, stand-vnder: and vnder-stand is all one.Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.TG II.v.29
Aske my dogge, if he say I, it will: if hee say no, itAsk my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, itTG II.v.31
will: if hee shake his taile, and say nothing, it will.will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.TG II.v.32
Thou shalt neuer get such a secret from me, butThou shalt never get such a secret from me butTG II.v.34
by a parable.by a parable.TG II.v.35
I neuer knew him otherwise.I never knew him otherwise.TG II.v.38
A notable Lubber: as thou reportest him to bee.A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.TG II.v.40
Why Foole, I meant not thee, I meant thyWhy, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thyTG II.v.42
Master.master.TG II.v.43
Why, I tell thee, I care not, though hee burne himselfeWhy, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himselfTG II.v.45
in Loue. If thou wilt goe with me to the Ale-house: ifin love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; ifTG II.v.46
not, thou art an Hebrew, a Iew, and not worth the namenot, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the nameTG II.v.47
of a Christian.of a Christian.TG II.v.48
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee asBecause thou hast not so much charity in thee asTG II.v.50
to goe to the Ale with a Christian: Wilt thou goe?to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?TG II.v.51
So-hough, Soa hough--- So-ho, so-ho!TG III.i.189
Him we goe to finde, / There's not a haire on's head, Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's headTG III.i.191
but 'tis a Valentine. but 'tis a Valentine.TG III.i.192
Can nothing speake? Master, shall I strike? Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?TG III.i.199
Nothing. Nothing.TG III.i.201
Why Sir, Ile strike nothing: I pray you. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing. I pray you – TG III.i.203
Sir, there is a proclamation, yt you are vanished. Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.TG III.i.216
I am but a foole, looke you, and yet I haue the wit to I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit toTG III.i.261
thinke my Master is a kinde of a knaue: but that's all one, think my master is a kind of a knave; but that's all oneTG III.i.262
if he be but one knaue: He liues not now that knowes me if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows meTG III.i.263
to be in loue, yet I am in loue, but a Teeme of horse shall to be in love; yet I am in love; but a team of horse shallTG III.i.264
not plucke that from me: nor who 'tis I loue: and yet 'tis not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love; and yet 'tisTG III.i.265
a woman; but what woman, I will not tell my selfe: and a woman; but what woman I will not tell myself; andTG III.i.266
yet 'tis a Milke-maid: yet 'tis not a maid: for shee hath had yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath hadTG III.i.267
Gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her Masters maid, and gossips; yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid andTG III.i.268
serues for wages. Shee hath more qualities then a serves for wages. She hath more qualities than aTG III.i.269
Water-Spaniell, which is much in a bare Christian: water-spaniel – which is much in a bare Christian.TG III.i.270
Heere is the Cate-log of her Condition. Inprimis. Shee can Here is the cate-log of her condition. Imprimis: She canTG III.i.271
fetch and carry: why a horse can doe no more; nay, a fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, aTG III.i.272
horse cannot fetch, but onely carry, therefore is shee better horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she betterTG III.i.273
then a Iade. Item. She can milke, looke you, a sweet than a jade. Item: She can milk. Look you, a sweetTG III.i.274
vertue in a maid with cleane hands. virtue in a maid with clean hands.TG III.i.275
With my Mastership? why, it is at Sea: With my master's ship? Why, it is at sea.TG III.i.278
The black'st newes that euer thou heard'st. The blackest news that ever thou heardest.TG III.i.281
Why, as blacke as Inke. Why, as black as ink.TG III.i.283
Fie on thee Iolt-head, thou canst not read. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read.TG III.i.285
I will try thee: tell me this: who begot thee? I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?TG III.i.287
Oh illiterate loyterer; it was the sonne of thy Grand-mother: O illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy grandmother.TG III.i.289
this proues that thou canst not read. This proves that thou canst not read.TG III.i.290
There: and S. Nicholas be thy speed.There; and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!TG III.i.292
I that she can. Ay, that she can.TG III.i.294
And thereof comes the prouerbe: (Blessing of And thereof comes the proverb: ‘ Blessing ofTG III.i.296
your heart, you brew good Ale.) your heart, you brew good ale.’TG III.i.297
That's as much as to say (Can she so?) That's as much as to say, ‘ Can she so?’TG III.i.299
What neede a man care for a stock with a wench, What need a man care for a stock with a wench,TG III.i.301
When she can knit him a stocke? when she can knit him a stock?TG III.i.302
A speciall vertue: for then shee neede not be A special virtue; for then she need not beTG III.i.304
wash'd, and scowr'd. washed and scoured.TG III.i.305
Then may I set the world on wheeles, when she Then may I set the world on wheels, when sheTG III.i.307
can spin for her liuing. can spin for her living.TG III.i.308
That's as much as to say Bastard-vertues: that That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; thatTG III.i.310
indeede know not their fathers; and therefore haue no indeed know not their fathers, and therefore have noTG III.i.311
names. names.TG III.i.312
Close at the heeles of her vertues. Close at the heels of her virtues.TG III.i.314
Well: that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast.TG III.i.317
read on. Read on.TG III.i.318
That makes amends for her soure breath. That makes amends for her sour breath.TG III.i.320
It's no matter for that; so shee sleepe not in her It's no matter for that; so she sleep not in herTG III.i.322
talke. talk.TG III.i.323
Oh villaine, that set this downe among her vices; O villain, that set this down among her vices!TG III.i.325
To be slow in words, is a womans onely vertue: I pray To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue. I prayTG III.i.326
thee out with't, and place it for her chiefe vertue. thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.TG III.i.327
Out with that too: It was Eues legacie, and cannot Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannotTG III.i.329
be t'ane from her. be ta'en from her.TG III.i.330
I care not for that neither: because I loue crusts. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.TG III.i.332
Well: the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.TG III.i.334
If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, If her liquor be good, she shall; if she will not,TG III.i.336
I will; for good things should be praised. I will; for good things should be praised.TG III.i.337
Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ downe Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ downTG III.i.339
she is slow of: of her purse, shee shall not, for that ile she is slow of; of her purse, she shall not, for that I'llTG III.i.340
keepe shut: Now, of another thing shee may, and that keep shut. Now, of another thing she may, and thatTG III.i.341
cannot I helpe. Well, proceede. cannot I help. Well, proceed.TG III.i.342
Stop there: Ile haue her: she was mine, and not Stop there; I'll have her; she was mine and notTG III.i.345
mine, twice or thrice in that last Article: rehearse that mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse thatTG III.i.346
once more. once more.TG III.i.347
More haire then wit: it may be ile proue it: The More hair than wit? It may be I'll prove it: theTG III.i.349
couer of the salt, hides the salt, and therefore it is more cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is moreTG III.i.350
then the salt; the haire that couers the wit, is more then than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more thanTG III.i.351
the wit; for the greater hides the lesse: What's next? the wit, for the greater hides the less. What's next?TG III.i.352
That's monstrous: oh that that were out. That's monstrous. O, that that were out!TG III.i.354
Why that word makes the faults gracious: Well, Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,TG III.i.356
ile haue her: and if it be a match, as nothing is I'll have her; an if it be a match, as nothing isTG III.i.357
impossible. impossible – TG III.i.358
Why then, will I tell thee, that thy Master staies Why, then will I tell thee – that thy master staysTG III.i.360
for thee at the North gate. for thee at the Northgate.TG III.i.361
For thee? I, who art thou? he hath staid for For thee! Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed forTG III.i.363
a better man then thee. a better man than thee.TG III.i.364
Thou must run to him; for thou hast staid so Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed soTG III.i.366
long, that going will scarce serue the turne. long that going will scarce serve the turn.TG III.i.367
Now will he be swing'd for reading my Letter; Now will he be swinged for reading my letter.TG III.i.370
An vnmannerly slaue, that will thrust himselfe into An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself intoTG III.i.371
secrets: Ile after, to reioyce in the boyes correctiõ. secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.TG III.i.372
When a mans seruant shall play the Curre withWhen a man's servant shall play the cur withTG IV.iv.1
him (looke you) it goes hard: one that I brought vp of ahim, look you, it goes hard – one that I brought up of aTG IV.iv.2
puppy: one that I sau'd from drowning, when three orpuppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three orTG IV.iv.3
foure of his blinde brothers and sisters went to it: I hauefour of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I haveTG IV.iv.4
taught him (euen as one would say precisely, thus Itaught him, even as one would say precisely, ‘ Thus ITG IV.iv.5
would teach a dog) I was sent to deliuer him, as a presentwould teach a dog.’ I was sent to deliver him as a presentTG IV.iv.6
to Mistris Siluia, from my Master; and I came no soonerto Mistress Silvia from my master; and I came no soonerTG IV.iv.7
into the dyning-chamber, but he steps me to herinto the dining-chamber, but he steps me to herTG IV.iv.8
Trencher, and steales her Capons-leg: O, 'tis a foule thing,trencher and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thingTG IV.iv.9
when a Cur cannot keepe himselfe in all companies: Iwhen a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! ITG IV.iv.10
would haue (as one should say) one that takes vpon himwould have, as one should say, one that takes upon himTG IV.iv.11
to be a dog indeede, to be, as it were, a dog at all things.to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things.TG IV.iv.12
If I had not had more wit then he, to take a fault vponIf I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault uponTG IV.iv.13
me that he did, I thinke verily hee had bin hang'd for't:me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't;TG IV.iv.14
sure as I liue he had suffer'd for't: you shall iudge: Heesure as I live, he had suffered for't. You shall judge. HeTG IV.iv.15
thrusts me himselfe into the company of three or fourethrusts me himself into the company of three or fourTG IV.iv.16
gentleman-like-dogs, vnder the Dukes table: hee had notgentlemanlike dogs under the Duke's table; he had notTG IV.iv.17
bin there (blesse the marke) a pissing while, but all thebeen there, bless the mark, a pissing while but all theTG IV.iv.18
chamber smelt him: out with the dog (saies one)chamber smelt him. ‘ Out with the dog!’ says one;TG IV.iv.19
what cur is that (saies another) whip him out (saies‘ What cur is that?’ says another; ‘ Whip him out,’ saysTG IV.iv.20
the third) hang him vp (saies the Duke.) I hauing binthe third; ‘ Hang him up,’ says the Duke. I, having beenTG IV.iv.21
acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, andTG IV.iv.22
goes me to the fellow that whips the dogges: friendgoes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. ‘ Friend,’TG IV.iv.23
(quoth I) you meane to whip the dog: I marry doe Iquoth I, ‘ you mean to whip the dog?’ ‘ Ay, marry, do I,’TG IV.iv.24
(quoth he) you doe him the more wrong (quoth I)quoth he. ‘ You do him the more wrong,’ quoth I,TG IV.iv.25
'twas I did the thing you wot of: he makes me no‘ 'twas I did the thing you wot of.’ He makes me noTG IV.iv.26
more adoe, but whips me out of the chamber: how manymore ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How manyTG IV.iv.27
Masters would doe this for his Seruant? nay, ile bemasters would do this for his servant? Nay, I'll beTG IV.iv.28
sworne I haue sat in the stockes, for puddings he hathsworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hathTG IV.iv.29
stolne, otherwise he had bin executed: I haue stood onstolen, otherwise he had been executed; I have stood onTG IV.iv.30
the Pillorie for Geese he hath kil'd, otherwise he hadthe pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he hadTG IV.iv.31
sufferd for't: thou think'st not of this now: nay, Isuffered for't. Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, ITG IV.iv.32
remember the tricke you seru'd me, when I tooke my leaueremember the trick you served me when I took my leaveTG IV.iv.33
of Madam Siluia: did not I bid thee still marke me, andof Madam Silvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me andTG IV.iv.34
doe as I do; when did'st thou see me heaue vp my leg,do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my legTG IV.iv.35
and make water against a Gentlewomans farthingale?and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale?TG IV.iv.36
did'st thou euer see me doe such a tricke?Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?TG IV.iv.37
Marry Sir, I carried Mistris Siluia the dogge youMarry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog youTG IV.iv.43
bad me.bade me.TG IV.iv.44
Marry she saies your dog was a cur, and tels youMarry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells youTG IV.iv.46
currish thanks is good enough for such a present.currish thanks is good enough for such a present.TG IV.iv.47
No indeede did she not: / Here haue I broughtNo, indeed, did she not; here have I broughtTG IV.iv.49
him backe againe.him back again.TG IV.iv.50
I Sir, the other Squirrill was stolne from me / ByAy, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me byTG IV.iv.52
the Hangmans boyes in the market place, / And then Ithe hangman boys in the market-place; and then ITG IV.iv.53
offer'd her mine owne, who is a dog / As big as ten ofoffered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten ofTG IV.iv.54
yours, & therefore the guift the greater.yours, and therefore the gift the greater.TG IV.iv.55
SHAKESPEARE'S WORDS © 2018 DAVID CRYSTAL & BEN CRYSTAL