All's Well That Ends Well


Text
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Enter the Countess and the Clown
put (v.) 1 force, make, compel


COUNTESS

Come on, sir. I shall now put you to the

height of your breeding.


CLOWN

I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught. I

know my business is but to the court.


COUNTESS

To the court! Why, what place make you

special, when you put off that with such contempt? But
put off (v.) 1 dismiss, brush aside, spurn
special (adj.) particular, specific, distinctive

to the court!


CLOWN

Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any

manners he may easily put it off at court. He that cannot
put off (v.) 3 pass off, palm off, foist on

make a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand, and say nothing,
leg (n.) 1 bending of a knee, genuflection, obeisance

has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a

fellow, to say precisely, were not for the court. But for

me, I have an answer will serve all men.


COUNTESS

Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all

questions.


CLOWN

It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks: the

pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or
brawn-buttock (n.) fleshy buttock, well-rounded bottom
quatch (adj.) [unclear meaning] squat, fat, plump

any buttock.


COUNTESS

Will your answer serve fit to all questions?
fit (adv.) suitably, fittingly, appropriately


CLOWN

As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney,
attorney (n.) 2 advocate, mediator, promoter

as your French crown for your taffety punk, as Tib's
punk (n.) harlot, strumpet, whore
taffety (adj.) finely dressed, showy, overdressed
Tib (n.) [type name for] strumpet, harlot, whore

rush for Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove
rush (n.) 2 ring made of rushes, reed ring

Tuesday, a morris for May-day, as the nail to his hole,
morris (n.) morris dance

the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding quean to a
cuckold (n.) [mocking name] man with an unfaithful wife See Topics: Frequency count
quean (n.) bawd, jade, hussy

wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth;
knave (n.) 1 scoundrel, rascal, rogue See Topics: Frequency count

nay, as the pudding to his skin.
pudding (n.) 1 type of large savoury dish; dumpling, pasty


COUNTESS

Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for

all questions?


CLOWN

From below your duke to beneath your constable,

it will fit any question.


COUNTESS

It must be an answer of most monstrous size

that must fit all demands.


CLOWN

But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned

should speak truth of it. Here it is, and all that belongs

to't. Ask me if I am a courtier; it shall do you no harm

to learn.


COUNTESS

To be young again, if we could! I will be a

fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer.

I pray you, sir, are you a courtier?


CLOWN

O Lord, sir! – There's a simple putting off. More,

more, a hundred of them.


COUNTESS

Sir, I am a poor friend of yours that loves you.


CLOWN

O Lord, sir! – Thick, thick; spare not me.
thick (adv.) quickly, rapidly, fast


COUNTESS

I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely

meat.


CLOWN

O Lord, sir! – Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.
warrant (v.) 1 assure, promise, guarantee, confirm See Topics: Frequency count


COUNTESS

You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.


CLOWN

O Lord, sir! – Spare not me.


COUNTESS

Do you cry, ‘ O Lord, sir! ’ at your whipping,

and ‘ spare not me?’ Indeed your ‘ O Lord, sir!’ is very

sequent to your whipping: you would answer very well
answer (v.) 9 respond, react
sequent (adj.) 1 following, ensuing, consequent

to a whipping, if you were but bound to't.
bind (v.), past form bound 1 pledge, vow, be under obligation


CLOWN

I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my ‘ O Lord,

sir!’ I see things may serve long, but not serve ever.


COUNTESS

I play the noble housewife with the time,

To entertain it so merrily with a fool.


CLOWN

O Lord, sir! – Why, there't serves well again.


COUNTESS

An end, sir! To your business: give Helen this,

And urge her to a present answer back.

Commend me to my kinsmen and my son.
commend (v.) 1 convey greetings, present kind regards See Topics: Frequency count

This is not much.


CLOWN

Not much commendation to them?


COUNTESS

Not much employment for you. You understand

me?


CLOWN

Most fruitfully. I am there before my legs.


COUNTESS

Haste you again.
again (adv.) 2 back [to a former position]

Exeunt

 
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